Hi there, I’m Tee.
If you’ve been here for a while you might remember me — I pop up every Christmas just for you guys with this very exciting post.
For those who haven’t been here that long, welcome! I’m Tee, I’m a Young Consultant for CREATE, and I’ve been working with CREATE for over seven years now. (I’m like a germ they can’t get rid of — but hopefully the good kind that makes you laugh, not the kind that makes you sneeze.)
Like many of you, I grew up in out‑of‑home Care. I spent time in all the types of care: kinship, foster care, residential, one‑on‑one. So I know first‑hand how scary, confusing, and hard Christmas time can be. That’s why I started this column. It became so popular you guys have voted me back for four years running now!
Enough about me — let’s get to the reason you’re here…
THE CHRISTMAS COLUMN.
Now, before we dive into the fun stuff, I want to be level with you.
I’ve had Christmases where..
- I sat at a table full of people and felt like I didn’t belong. I’ve had years where I pretended to laugh at jokes while my stomach was tight, and years where I wanted to disappear into my room instead of opening presents.
- One year, I remember sneaking outside after lunch and sitting on the back step with a can of soft drink, just staring at the sky because it felt calmer than being inside.
- Another year, I hid in the laundry with a book because I couldn’t handle the noise.
- One year I was sitting all alone with 3 carers staring at my phone waiting while watching reruns of Law-and-Order SVU, because I was the only one in the house who had no visits approved, nor any family or friends to spend the day with.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Christmas can be messy, awkward, and sometimes painful — especially when you’re in care and the season brings up old memories or new pressures. I’m not here to tell you to cheer up or be grateful.
"I’m here to say: you get to own your Christmas. You get to decide what parts you show up for, what parts you skip, and how you protect yourself."
The end of the year is a chance to notice what stuck with you — the wins, the losses, and the ways you kept going. Maybe you smashed a goal at school. Maybe you survived a tough placement change.
Maybe you just kept breathing through days that felt impossible. That’s strength.
Reflecting on the year doesn’t mean pretending everything was good. It means recognising that you made it through, and that matters. I remember one year when my “big win” was simply not getting suspended from school — and honestly, that felt huge at the time.
Another year, my win was learning how to cook pasta without burning it.
Wins don’t have to be massive. They just have to be yours.
Christmas can stir up lots of feelings
Christmas can stir up grief or loss for people, places, or the way you thought things would be. It can bring anxiety about family dynamics, money, reunions, or safety. It can spark anger at systems or situations that haven’t supported you. It can also bring relief — sometimes the break gives you rest, and that’s okay to welcome. Naming emotions makes them smaller. Instead of “I feel terrible,” try “I feel anxious about family questions.” That way you can plan for it.
There are triggers to watch for:
- Family gatherings that bring up conflict or uncomfortable questions.
- Social media showing perfect celebrations that make you compare yourself.
- Pressure to join traditions that don’t fit your values or safety needs.
- Adults drinking more, which can change the mood fast.
Knowing your triggers helps you set boundaries. I remember one year when a relative kept asking me about “real family” and I wanted to crawl under the table. My trigger was those kinds of questions, so the next year I practised saying, “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” It wasn’t easy, but it helped.
Boundaries aren’t rude — they’re survival skills. Practise short, calm phrases: “I’m not up for that,” or “I’m stepping out for ten minutes.” Create an exit plan: decide how long you’ll stay, who you can call, and where you can go if things get overwhelming. Use a code word with a supportive adult or friend that signals you need help. Boundaries don’t have to be dramatic. They’re your way of staying in control. One year, my boundary was simply deciding I’d only stay at the Christmas BBQ for two hours. I told myself, “Two hours, then I can leave.” And when the two hours were up, I left. It felt powerful to know I had a choice.
You don’t need money to give something special.
And here’s something I’ve learned: personal gifts beat pricey ones. These gifts show time and thought — people remember that more than price. You can make a playlist with a note about why each song matters. Jar up a homemade spice mix. Create a tiny photo zine on your phone. Upcycling — turning old stuff into something new — is a great way to make gifts unique. A thrifted frame can be decorated, scarves can become headbands, jars can become lanterns. These are only a few of the endless options. One year I gave someone a “coupon book” I made out of scrap paper — it had things like “One free hug,” “I’ll wash the dishes,” and “I’ll tell you a bad joke.” They loved it.
"So, as we head into Christmas, I want you to remember this: you are not alone. You are part of a community of young people who get it. You are part of a bigger story. And you are allowed to make Christmas yours. Whether that means building a fort, making a playlist, cooking something simple, or just taking a nap — it counts. It matters. And it’s yours."
Back by popular demand!! Check out Tee's 2026 Gift Guide.
This year we’re focusing on how to make your Christmas special and enjoyable for you, and as always, everyone’s favourite: the present list!
I’ve spent hours testing out and making a jam‑packed list that everyone will love. I made sure that all of you can have a try and included things for everyone, and as always, they’re all budget‑friendly.
That means they can be made with stuff you might already have at home, or if you need to buy anything, they’re low‑cost items that won’t break the bank.
