Hi there, I’m Tee.
If you’ve been here for a while you might remember me — I pop up every Christmas just for you guys with this very exciting post.
For those who haven’t been here that long, welcome! I’m Tee, I’m a Young Consultant for CREATE, and I’ve been working with CREATE for over seven years now. (I’m like a germ they can’t get rid of — but hopefully the good kind that makes you laugh, not the kind that makes you sneeze.)
Like many of you, I grew up in out‑of‑home Care. I spent time in all the types of care: kinship, foster care, residential, one‑on‑one. So I know first‑hand how scary, confusing, and hard Christmas time can be. That’s why I started this column. It became so popular you guys have voted me back for four years running now!
Enough about me — let’s get to the reason you’re here…
THE CHRISTMAS COLUMN.
Now, before we dive into the fun stuff, I want to be level with you.
I’ve had Christmases where..
- I sat at a table full of people and felt like I didn’t belong. I’ve had years where I pretended to laugh at jokes while my stomach was tight, and years where I wanted to disappear into my room instead of opening presents.
- One year, I remember sneaking outside after lunch and sitting on the back step with a can of soft drink, just staring at the sky because it felt calmer than being inside.
- Another year, I hid in the laundry with a book because I couldn’t handle the noise.
- One year I was sitting all alone with 3 carers staring at my phone waiting while watching reruns of Law-and-Order SVU, because I was the only one in the house who had no visits approved, nor any family or friends to spend the day with.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Christmas can be messy, awkward, and sometimes painful — especially when you’re in care and the season brings up old memories or new pressures. I’m not here to tell you to cheer up or be grateful.
"I’m here to say: you get to own your Christmas. You get to decide what parts you show up for, what parts you skip, and how you protect yourself."
I know Christmas can feel like a giant, noisy episode of everything all at once — bright lights, odd schedules, new people and old memories. That’s a lot for anyone, and especially for kids in out‑of‑home care. You don’t have to make the whole day perfect. You can pick one or two tiny things that are yours, and those will help you feel steady.
This year might have been full of ups and downs. Maybe you had new carers, new schools, or new friends. Maybe you had days where you laughed so hard your tummy hurt, and other days where you wanted to hide under the doona. Both are real. Both matters. When we stop and think back, we can notice what made us smile, what helped us feel safe, and what still feels heavy. All of them belong to your story. All your feelings matter.
Christmas can stir up lots of feelings
- You might feel sad or lonely because people you care about aren’t around.
- You might feel worried or scared because there are big changes or new rules.
- You might feel angry or frustrated because things don’t seem fair.
- You might feel excited and hopeful because there are presents, food, or fun things to do.
Your feelings are your brain and body telling you what’s happened and what matters to you. There’s no “wrong” feeling. Feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’re human.
Certain things at Christmas can make feelings stronger. Seeing other families celebrate together, lots of noise and parties, people expecting you to be cheerful, gifts and money talk that make you compare yourself to others, or memories of past Christmases that were upsetting.
Knowing what triggers you can help you plan. If you know loud parties make you anxious, you can ask for a quiet corner. If you know seeing certain people makes you sad, you can plan a comfort activity afterwards.
You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Big feelings get smaller when you name them, plan for them, and share them with someone who cares. You are allowed to protect your peace, choose what feels safe, and make new small traditions that belong to you.
It helps to plan quiet spots and exits. Decide ahead of time where your quiet spot will be: under the back porch, a bedroom nook, or even the car with headphones on. Practice one calm trick for when noise gets loud — deep breaths, counting to five, or humming your favourite song. Saying “I need five minutes” is brave and useful.
"No one else can tell you how you feel, only you get to do that. So, try to pick up on what feels good and makes you happy and say no to what doesn’t."
You don’t need money to give something special.
Time and creativity are powerful gifts, or you can try upcycling old things into something new!
- Time/Creativity-You can read a story to a younger child, draw a silly card,
- help a carer set the table,
- decorate a jar and fill it with hot‑chocolate mix,
- paint a rock with a smile, or
- make a coupon for one chore you’ll do.
- Upcycling — turning old stuff into something new — makes gifts even more personal. An old t‑shirt can become a puppet. A jar can become a lantern.
These gifts are special because they come from you. (Pssst. If you need some help, don’t forget I’ve to check the list of ideas at the end don’t worry I got your back.)
Your Christmas doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. You can re‑shape it to fit what you need — quieter, louder, creatively messy, or deeply low‑key.
Remember: you are part of this season, and your way of celebrating matters.
Back by popular demand!! Check out Tee's 2026 Gift Guide.
